Came to Singapore almost a month already, but still facing many problems. Although I don't feel stress with my job and can catch up many stuff, moreover praised by my boss, but I feel that i'm lose something in my life too. Feel bore and no mood everyday, even though i passion on interior design/architect. The feeling of bore is totally different, it make you feel void and emptiness. Siewhong told me that she have this kind of feeling too when she came here initially. Maybe 'til now, I'm still can't adapt and not familiar with here. Many question marks above my head, always facing mistake and make me hate about myself. The cultural and the environment at here are totally different with Malaysia, everything is law by law, too tidy & clean, and nothing is free of charge. Yesterday i went to subordinate court to translate my certificates, it cost me S$162, my heart is bleeding and difficult to recover 'til now. Because those are my father's hard-earned money, it were changed by ringgit to sing dollar for me to survive at the first few months, and i swear i won't take any money with my parents again. At this "no money, no talk" city, my available money for spending are close to the end. I need to struggle until the end of the month without rely on anyone, am I TOUGH enough to survive at here?
Home sick, the feeling that i never have before. I miss my parents and my lovely home. Hopefully, they can feel proud on me on one day. I miss my country, especially Malaysia foods. I miss my friends, and scare after a long time no see, our wire cannot connect. Afraid to lose that tacit understanding among of us. I believe because of fate, i'm so honor to make friend with them in this life. They are my spiritual support! Sooli told me that you need to create your own society, it will make your feel ease at here. But, after a month, i'm still don't like my colleagues, can't be friend with them. So, am I TOUGH enough to live without my family and friends?
Tihooi told me a reality, if i cant stand on it, the worst decision is i'm gonna to give up working at here. "Give up", i thought it before. However, my mind always console my heart, as long as endure this period of time, i can have a brighten future. And sometime i felt disappointed, my design keep on changing to fulfill the carpenters capability and clients budget. They are exploit my design inspiration entirely. I hate it! So, am I TOUGH enough to persist until the end?